


Bitter Sweet

by Razztam



Category: Kindergarten (Video Games 2017 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Roleswap AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 04:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20482796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razztam/pseuds/Razztam
Summary: From the moment they were born, the heir was already decided. The son they would raise to be the future head of Applesoft, who they would train his whole life and support-- While the other was unwanted, merely the second half of a two-for-one deal the Huxleys never wanted to make.That was just the way it was. It was the natural order in the Huxley household. The perfect one had always been Theodore. The other one was Felix.[AU where Ted is the favourite twin and Felix is the scapegoat instead :')c]





	Bitter Sweet

Father hit him.

He should be used to it by now, shouldn't he? Felix had always let down father for as long as he could remember. No matter how hard he tried, he was never good enough. No matter how hard he tried, he was always such a disappointment.

It stung. His cheek stung. He didn't dare slam the door even as he felt the urge to. No, that would be yet another reason for father to yell at him some more. He wasn't about to risk giving an attitude to the one man whose approval he yearned so long for. The door closed with a soft click. Tears threatened to spill at the corners of his eyes, his knees shaking as he walked into Teddy's room.

Teddy-- His twin brother. The one who could do no wrong. The person he was horribly jealous of, while at the same time, the only person in this godforsaken house who actually _ cared _ about him. The one who stood up for him despite the risk of getting into trouble just like him. The golden child who would inherit the company, who had everything handed to him on a silver platter from the very beginning, and the one Felix _ clung _ to because he was the only support he had in his life.

A pair of dry eyes met an identical tearier set. No words needed to be shared among the two.

Ted didn't hesitate to get to his feet, away from his homework, away from those business documents their father had him look through to prepare for his life as a future commercial magnate. That didn't matter. His brother was _ crying_, and he needed to do something about it. Not like he could focus on responsibilities, after hearing all the screaming outside for the past couple minutes anyway. 

Ted hated it. Hate, hate, _ hated _ knowing the horrible things Felix was going through just because father chose him instead. It was unfair. And Felix didn't deserve it, no matter how much father tried to drill it into the both of them that he did. Perhaps Felix was convinced of his lack of worth, but Ted didn't buy it. Just because father said so? Please. He refused to believe his hardworking brother was at fault for everything, _ because it simply wasn't true. _

And so, he gently brought his twin into a hug. Felix leaned in. It was almost routine now for him to come to Teddy for even the smallest bit of comfort after the horror of being yelled at by their parents. But the comfort Ted gave was never small. It was as much as he could muster. And it meant the world to Felix.

He took a shaky breath. He tried to hold onto his father's words at some point, tried to take it to heart so he could improve, and better himself, and become what father wanted him to be, whatever that even was-- but it all blurred together eventually. All the yelling started to sound the same after a while. And that only upset him further. Why couldn't he be a good child who could listen properly? Why didn't he do as he asked? Why couldn't he get higher grades at school? Ted always seemed to do better than him at everything with no effort at all, while Felix was trying, _ trying_, never ceasing his best efforts. But it was never good enough. Why? Why couldn't he just learn his place and save himself the heartbreak? Why couldn't he be good enough? What did he do wrong?_ Why didn't father love him--? _

It occurred to him just how tired his body was. Felix was exhausted. His arms wrapped around his brother, but he wasn't sure he had the capacity to squeeze him like Ted did for him. That was fine. The fact Teddy was here was fine itself. 

It made him feel better. He was safe here.

"...Felix." A single word, mumbled. Ted held him, whispering as he broke the silence between them. "You know, it's not your fault. I don't think father should have yelled at you. You did your best. That's what matters."

Ted's words were met with a bitter scoff from his twin, "That's easy for you to say, isn't it? You don't even have to work hard to get father's attention. Everything you do is just _ perfect _ to him."

"That's not what I…" Ted frowned at Felix. He hugged him tighter, "Fe, I'm _ not _ perfect. You don't have to be either. You're good enough the way you are. _ I'm proud of you_."

Those words caused a visceral reaction in him. The floodgates opened up. _ God-- _ He hated that he was _ actually _ crying now. It was weakness, it was pathetic, it was-- It was only expected of a disappointment like him. He couldn't fall further than he already had, could he? What did it matter anymore if his own brother saw him crying?

Still, Felix wanted to both _ shove away _ his twin and _ pull him closer _ all at the same time. He decided on the latter after a moment's hesitation. Felix whispered back after his sobbing calmed down a little more, "I _ know _ you are, Teddy. And I'm glad I can make you proud at least, but _ I don't want that_. You don't understand-- I want _ father _ to be proud of me for once."

"But--"

"You could _ never _ understand. _ I just want father to love me like he loves you_." 

His voice broke. A reflection of how he felt on the inside right about now, and during every other time he'd been berated or punished. Felix let out a sniffle, before resorting to whimpering into his brother's shoulder. “I wish I could be you. I wish father would love me.”

Ted stood awkwardly. He knew he couldn't understand completely, or have any way of knowing what it felt firsthand, but he'd always been such an empathetic person at his core. He had _ some _ idea to what it must have felt like. It sure felt _ absolutely painful_. He rubbed circles into his crying brother's back gently, attempting to soothe him. 

"I know." He mumbled, "I know, I don't understand. I'm sorry my love isn't enough to replace father's. I'm sorry, Felix, I really am."

Teddy didn't get it. He was the perfect one, of course, how could he ever understand? He didn't know what it was like to strive for his own parents' attention his whole life. He didn't know what it was like to feel unwanted by the people who should have loved him the most. He didn't know how it felt to _ try _ harder and harder each time only to be met with the same result of _ failure _ despite working so hard to gain some recognition. He didn't know what it felt like to be shouted at, called useless constantly, and have every moment he spent trying to _ appease _ simply thrown in his face afterwards. 

Felix couldn't bring himself to be mad at his more successful twin. None of that was Teddy’s fault; it was _ Felix's _ fault, clearly. He wasn’t _ trying hard enough_. He hadn’t pleased father enough. His brother _ just didn't get it, he didn't-- _

"But I still want you to know that I _ am _ proud, even if father isn't.” Ted spoke again, “You deserve to be proud of yourself too. I _ know _ you, Felix. You're so smart, and strong, dedicated-- You set your mind to stuff. You’re capable. There’s so many things about you that are great. You don’t have to be me when being you is enough. And if father can't see how amazing you are for all that, then maybe he's the one who's wrong. Not you."

Felix froze for a moment. The very proposal of father being _ wrong _ was such a terrifying one to them both. As far as they were concerned, their father's word was stone. It was law. It wasn't to be argued with. But _ oh _ how Felix wanted father to change his mind about him. He wanted so badly for father to hold him in high esteem, not think of him as the _failure _ Felix had always been to the man his whole life.

"...Thank you, Teddy." He said. The embrace felt a little less intense after Felix calmed his breathing further. He didn't know what else to say to his twin. He didn’t have the energy to argue further. Even if it wasn’t enough for father, at least he had Teddy. And besides, it was probably pointless once Teddy got like this and started _ insisting _ that Felix was so great. It seemed they both shared the same stubborn quality sometimes, and it was yet another reason Felix rationalized his father’s preference for Teddy over him. Yet another reason that _maybe if he was more like Teddy--_ But Ted cared enough about him to think he was good enough as himself. So he just continued to hug him, taking the compliments as he repeated with a whisper, “_Thank you._”

Teddy had _ everything _ to lose, and nothing to gain from defending Felix from their parents and their harsh words. Teddy already had the inheritance of the company guaranteed, as well as both their parents’ love and attention. Precious things that could easily be _ taken away _ as a form of punishment if he happened to revolt too much. So _ why _ did he bother wasting this much time-- Time he could spend learning to be a better businessman, just for the sake of the family failure?

A content smile crossed the expression of the twin in red as he heard Felix thank him. “I’m just telling the truth. You’re welcome.”

Ted pulled away briefly, just to look at his brother’s face as he spoke. He took his twin’s hand in his own, giving it a reassuring clasp.

“I love you, Felix.”

And that was why. Felix could only respond with silent weeping, the tears streaming down his cheeks and blurring his vision. But even though he was crying, a smile made its way onto his face too. He held Ted’s hand.

“I love you too.”

Ted’s smile seemed to grow wider as he saw his brother smiling. Good. He never could stand to see Felix upset. He raised his other hand slowly, to wipe the tears from the other’s face with his thumb.

“Let’s go do something fun together. Get your mind off it for a bit?”

“Yes.” A single nod as he squeezed Ted’s hand gently, “Let’s.”

**Author's Note:**

> [11/02/2019]: hey everyone! just wanted to say i made an ask blog on tumblr for this au! check it out if you wanna! the url is displacedbias.tumblr.com :')c


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